Asian Sesame Noodles That WILL Make You Cry

Lately I have been more than obsessed with these Asian sesame noodles at the Whole Foods' salad bar. I think I've eaten them three times in the past week, and my budget is not a fan of this kind of behavior when it costs $7.99 per pound. On Sunday, I went to get my fourth serving, and CRISIS OF THE CENTURY they weren't on the bar. I frantically ran over to the deli woman and muttered, "Um...are there by any chance Asian sesame noodles anywhere else in this store?? Like the ones at the bar?? Because they're gone and I really want them." Of course she looked at me funny, but I didn't care. She checked in the kitchen, returned, and shook her head saying, "No, baby girl, we didn't make them today." WHAT. Like they are there every day, lady. Just because it's Sunday doesn't mean you get to rest on sesame noodle making. Just when I thought I was going to starve to death, a fluorescent light bulb lit up in my head and I asked her, "Oooh, can you give me an ingredient list so I can make them at home?" 

BAM! Gotcha Whole Foods - I can do this myself! Not that this was a competition in any way, I still felt like I had won. Christina, 1 - Whole Foods - ZIP. So when I looked at the ingredients, I was a little alarmed -- three different oils? Yowsas, this is what I've been eating? No wonder I've been feeling so slimy. I knew I could revamp this "recipe" that I didn't actually have, and make it MINE! Christina, 2 - Whole Foods - ZIP. Another thing I constantly see with Asian recipes is that there are a billion ingredients, and you only ever need 1-2 tablespoons of each. My budget doesn't love that either. I had picked up all these different sauces and oils when I noticed this little gem in the salad dressing section. Seriously, I was a winner all over this grocery store.

I drove home faster than Jimmie Johnson so I could create this recipe.

Ingredients:

• 1/4 - 1/2 lb noodles of your choice
• 1 inch knob of ginger, grated
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup cilantro, finely chopped
• 2 cups baby carrots, cooked and chopped
• 1/2 cup Tamari Ginger dressing
• 1-2 tsps crushed red pepper
• 1 tbsp sesame seeds
• Lime slices, optional

Directions:

• Cook pasta according to directions on the box. Drain and set aside to cool.
• In a mixing bowl, combine ginger, garlic, carrots, dressing, and crushed red pepper.
• Add mixture to pasta and toss. 
• Add sesame seeds and cilantro as desired.
• Serve with lime slices for squeezing over pasta.

Besides all the chopping, this recipe doesn't take long to make. Obviously I wanted them ASAP, so I stuck them in freezer to cool. I'm lying. I took three bites, and THEN put them in the freezer to chill while I cleaned up the horrific mess I made.


I finally got to eat them and oh my word, they were dragon-breath hot. Apparently 1/2 tbsp was an outrageous amount of crushed red pepper. (Recipe above is adjusted.) Halfway through my bowl, I was sniffling, crying, and reaching for the nearest mango to shove in my mouth. The mango didn't help, but I finished the bowl anyway. Bad idea. I cried a little more and thought about the only thing that could make my mouth feel better:

Good stuff, right? Now check out the inside of the jar:

Yeah, I went there. I also went here:

pistachio gelato

Earlier today, my facebook status was about how shocked I was that I didn't have any injuries this weekend. Well, I spoke too soon. While cleaning up my disaster, I dropped a bowl and sliced my palm open. OOPS.

And FINALLY -- the winner of the Greek Goddess Package is...

Congrats, Megan! Please email your contact info to: christinaorso@gmail.com. Gracias chica!