Jun 23, 2010

Like Scrambled Eggs with Hot Sauce

Nah, no real eggs in this post, but it will be all scrambled and definitely full of spice.

Last night I went to my second yoga class with my friend Natalie. This particular class was called "Hot Vinyasa Flow." I'm not really in the mood to write in paragraph form today, so let's discuss this class using a list. 

My thoughts:
1. They're not kidding when they say hot. Walking in was like crossing the border over into Mexico and leaving was like stepping into an Arctic so cold that I may have hallucinated a penguin.
2. I made the mistake of placing my mat by a man again. Last time a man sat next to me and sweated half his life out. Last night's man made it a point to tell me, "We might be touching a lot." Wait, what? Did I sign up for foreplay 101? NO. Stay in your rectangle, please!! Random people touching me is my worst nightmare! Please think of me like a pretty fish aquarium, stare all you want but do not poke!
3. The music was pretty, but slow. If I was a pot smoker, I definitely would have called Lil Wayne and asked him to join me for a sesh.
4. Two of the guys in the class wore board shorts. I've seen this in the gym too. Like, what are you thinking dudes? I know it's hot as heck in this gym, but there is no sand or waves -- we are not at the beach!! 
5. I am 100% sure that I could have bounced a quarter off the instructor's behind.
6.When the class got really quiet, I could hear Britney Spears playing in the main gym. I shed a tear. Then I heard men's voices. I shed 50 tears.
7. The class was an hour and fifteen minutes. My a.d.d. doesn't like anything over an hour.
8. I have never seen my body so covered in sparkly sweat. Yeah, my sweat sparkles!
9. How on earth do people do headstands? Isn't that like asking to break your own neck? The one position I felt comfortable in was a back bend, because I did gymnastics growing up. One girl went from a back bend back into a headstand. Who is she!?
10. How many times can you do a downward dog? So inapprope.

So, I have mixed feelings about yoga. Like I said before, I'd do it again, but I don't love it. I'm energetic and have trouble keeping quiet, so I need something not so....peaceful? Next Tuesday I'm cheating on my gym and going to East Shore for Erica's Body Attack class. I checked out LesMills.com and here is why I know I'm in for some fun:

1. Erica is the instructor. I have much love for her. By some mathematical property, I will love the class.
2. The description: "BODYATTACK™ is a 55-minute sports-inspired cardio workout that’s all about improving your speed, fitness, strength and agility." I spy the word 55-minute. I'm smiling.
3. Songs on the tracklist include: "Sexy Chick" and "I Know You Want Me." Confidence boost? I think so.
4. The class is called Body Attack. I love attacking (a man's) body.

So exciting! I can't wait to let you all know how it goes and will hopefully snap some hot before and after pics. Or should I say super cool before and insanely hot after pics?

In other news, I'd like to share a slew of photos that I have taken on my phone. The older I get, the more I realize that I am a weird person and really strange things seems to appear in front of me all the time. How about another list?
1. I only know how to wear highlighter colors to the gym:

2. These people dress worse than me:

3. I make normal things inappropriate at the grocery store:

4. I like putting my clothing on dogs.

Happy Wednesday to my beautiful readers!!

My birthday is in 7 days!


  1. I dig hi-lighter colors! And all the innappropriate things at the store- haha! You just made my day so much brighter!

    Enjoy your Wednesday girl!

  2. I love/hate yoga. I don't like it as a workout. But I like the fact that I can consider it a decent stretch session and know that it's also doing me some good...

    and seriously- downward dog is every other move!

  3. I think I should have been linked to your New Mexico reference.

  4. hahahhahahhahahhahahha. I love hot yoga :) It is LONG. I kind of wish it was an hour. Thanks for the shout out- you are so freaking sweet! I can't wait for you to try attack. The pictures cracked me up- I love the picture of the lady on the bridge. That is one jammin outfit :)

  5. Foreplay 101? LMBO!!! I have mix feelings about yoga..I'm kinda stalking it for it for now...waiting to make my move. LOL

    PS: My birthday is in 10 days! Whoot Whoot!

  6. I <3 scrambled eggs with hot sauce!!! Hahaha...

  7. You're SO funny! (I'm laughing at work... shhhh!). I felt the same way about yoga when I started - T.o.o. s.l.o.w. But now i'm kinda a fan. Although I haven't tried the HOT yoga. I don't just sweat, I RAIN. So I think it'd be a really bad scene. Me slipping and sliding everywhere... not good.

    PS - LOVE that you have fun at the grocery. I do too!

  8. You are hilarious. And yes, creep old guy will always strategically place himself behind you for the inevitable downdog. You will not leave class feeling relaxed and semi enlightened but violated and ashamed.
    On another note- I heart you and your writing!!

  9. Loving the workout clothes and also love to make appropriate things at the grocery store inappropriate! I'm glad that I'm not the only one! :)

  10. first of all, if you hallucinate a penguin again, please grab him for me. hahahaha.

    second, i love that most of those pictures are ones you've sent me on BBM before! they still make me laugh!

    lastly, next time i am in charleston, can we do yoga? i need to try it with someone, and if it sucks we can laugh inappropriately til we get kicked out. xoxo.

  11. Hilighter clothes are the best things to wear to the gym. How else can you easily spot yourself in the mirrors with everyone else?

    Yoga isn't my cup of tea either. It's nice for a good stretch, but I think all classes should be half an hour!

  12. happy almost bday! i love the doggie dressup pic. too cute!

  13. I haven't done yoga in a while... but a new studio just opened up nearby... maybe I'll give it a chance.

    PS- my favorite line by far:

    Please think of me like a pretty fish aquarium, stare all you want but do not poke!


  14. lol I loved this post! And your yoga recap! You seriously crack me up girl (:

    your dog = way cute

    Can't wait for your birthday! Yay!!

  15. I just found your blog! You're hilarious and I can't wait to read more. Love your pup picture :)

  16. You pull off highlighter colors like a pro. It is summer, so work it!

  17. I have just recently started hot yoga and I like it but I hate how hot it is! haha!

  18. 1. You're adorable.
    2. This post is hilarious.
    3. I totally agree with your little blurb including likes and dislikes.

    So glad I found your blog; I'll be checking in for sure!

  19. Just stumbled across your site while....actually not sure how I came across your site. I started on a fashion blog and a few clicks later ended up here :)
    In any case, I found myself laughing out loud at your post. I've already jotted down a couple of your recipes. I can't wait to try them! Thanks!

  20. I need to get on a hot yoga class, not because I love yoga either but just to try it you know. It's like the "thing to do." And heck, ya I do NOT like when ppl touch me. Especially sweaty people. GROSS!!

  21. OMG

    Where to begin with this laugh fest of a post

    * #2 LMAO @ this. Did he seriously say that to you? I always get stinky guys next to me and then I can see their sweat slowly trickling on their hairy bods. Blech.

    * I did the Hot Vinyasa Flow and have never sweated so much in my life, I loved it

    * Do people not look into mirrors before they leave the house? Really, you're going to out like that? Either that or they have friends are liars by telling them they look good

    *XXX is awesome!

    * I put clothes on my dog too, loves it

    Thanks for all the laughs with this post!

  22. Hahaha this post totally had me cracking up!

    I don't love yoga either, but that may be because the only classes I've gone to have been basically low budget stretch sessions at my university gym. I want to check out some hot yoga classes in town and see if they change my mind... although maybe now not so much after reading your recap. ;)

    I love your super bright workout gear!

  23. You're adorable and crack me up! Love the post!


  24. I used to love yoga, but I kinda lost it along the way. I go in ups and downs with it. Good luck...I can't wait to see how it goes for you!

  25. Hahaha ahh, girl, your writing never fails to make me laugh out loud! I completely understand the ADD + yoga = not-so-good combination. I'm the same way. Except the hot yoga classes I used to take were 90 minutes! Torture! Now I just stick with Denise Austin. 20 minutes at home is the way to go.

    Your dog is sooo adorable!

    Happy a-week-from-your-birthday!

  26. have u done hot yoga? i dont really like yoga and never really did.. but when i tried hot yoga i was HOOKED!!!!!

    btw eggs and hot sauce = love and perfection <3

  27. Did you take those pictures of those people?! You are a bad girl! hahaha!
    I've never done hot yoga. I should shut the a/c off in my apartment and try it. It gets over 100 in my stupid place.
    Love the xxx everywhere. America is so racy!

  28. Lol you crack me up!

    I actually enjoy hot yoga over other yoga because I feel like I'm getting more of a work out, but I definitely hear you on the male thing I would be SO sketched out if a guy said he was going to touch me in class. I am also not a huge fan of the guys that wear what can only be described as speedos to class. I know it's hot, but really?

  29. HAHAHA!! Funny picture of the strangers wearing awful clothing. I'm going to be chuckling all day long hehehe

  30. Oh my gosh I loved this post. Especially your #6 about the yoga! I did hot yoga once and just observed during the headstand part. =P
    And I love the "xxxtina"! Too funny! Happy almost birthday!!

  31. Aw, you just have to find a yoga teacher that rocks your world! Yoga can be really fun and interesting and full of lively popular music, depends who's teaching!

  32. i actually really love your workout outfit! I love bright colors though ahah.

    bahhaa okay the xxx tina is just hilarious.
    i give you mad props for hot yoga girl - I could never do it for longer than 10 mins.

  33. Bwahahahaha. You're a fish aquarium. So funny! I can't wait for Attack. Tis gonna be a blast! Maybe we can grab some dinner after?

  34. I love yoga, but have never done it in the world's hottest room. Your comments on the class you went to totally cracked me up!!

  35. I think I can out-weird you on this subject. I swear, every time I have tried yoga, I've gotten sick two days later. Like horrible ready for death cold.

    And like you, I have total exercise A.D.D. so yoga just ain't my thing.

  36. hahahhahahhah
    that picture of the dog with the peacoat on or whatever is sooo funny!! hahahha oh my goshh that made my night!! :)

  37. haha! i love how you made your name on the vitamin water bottle! i hope you stuck it right back on the shelf for someone to buy. and i hope it makes whoever buys it giggle out loud.

    bright colors are so much fun to rock at the gym!

  38. haha yes you DEF made me smile with that picture! Seemslike such a good poochie :)

  39. This is hysterical. I love that you wear bright clothes to the gym. I work plaid lululemon running shorts last week and definitely stuck out. Your yoga class experience sounds a little strange. I love a good hot flow class but have never experienced anyone talking about touching me... and if I could hear B. Spears in the background I'd probably leave. LOVE that green Longchamp bag!

  40. hahahaha your posts are hilarious! I love reading! Your highlighter outift is A- okay! I thought that was back in style no?

  41. "This is my dance space. This is your dance space" I'm with you. Do not touch me if you don't know me. Or if you do know me, don't touch me if I'm sweaty. EWWW!

  42. I think I laughed 4 separate times in the post. I love your yoga recap! I never thought about how cold you'd be after leaving one of those classes. I'd hate that.

  43. Lol--freaking hilarious! I found the sweaty men and guys in boardshorts especially comical. I don't think I've ever been here, but this is enough to come back. Your writing reminds me a my good friend who makes everything inappropriate as well! I think we'd get along.

  44. haha! This whole post made me laugh!

    I feel the exact same way about YOGA!

    Headstands....yea, never understood those!

  45. #4 on your list totally cracked me up b/c today at Spin this guy wore his boardshorts bathing suit. Our gym doesn't even have a pool! ha Did he just not have clean laundry or does he actually think Boardshorts also moonlight as workout attire?

  46. That pup is too freaking cute in the coat! Love the blog, just found you and adding you to my reader!

  47. Hello love!!!!!!!!! I did that hot yoga once too, it was ok but I wouldnt spend the money to go again!

    Yay for your bday soon!!!!!!!!!! xoxo

  48. you are SO funny! I love your bright gym clothes, and the pic of pups in your clothes. hahaha So your birthday is RIGHT around the corner now - yay!